Avowal
by Echo of Infinity
Summary: Tony looked on helplessly as he replaced the CD in his jacket pocket. The music she would never hear swum in his head. All the things she would never know, if only he wasn’t such a coward" My first fanfic, Tiva pairing, review please! Beta-ed by gabiace.
1. Chapter 1

Avowal

_**Avowal**_

_**Twilight**_

_Fragments of moonbeams_

_Permeate the glass_

_As stars hide behind_

_Their sweet guise_

_Twinkling_

_In the pitch black abyss_

Ziva slowly opened her eyes, she felt so peaceful, so safe. It had been a long time since she had allowed herself to feel this way. As she lay their silently she felt him stir in his sleep and his arms reposition slightly around her waist.

_Leaves gently rustle_

_Breaking the silence_

_Time seems to lull_

_In the twilight_

_And everything stands still_

They were the only two people in the world at the moment. As the moonlight crept through the window it illuminated his face, a face that she had not seen in so many years. Her mind wandered back to the day he had walked back into her life. It was clear that they were meant to be, fate had brought them together again despite the impossible distance and situation. How could her life have changed so much in so little time?

* * *

_**If Only**_

_(One month earlier)_

Tony had been mulling this over in his mind for weeks now and yet he was still unable to pluck the courage to tell her. She had always been there for him, through the whole debacle with Jeanne, she had been there as a friend. She didn't yet know how he felt or that she was the reason he had stayed, she was the reason he had let Jeanne go. To him she was the most beautiful thing in the world, and it took all of his will power to stop himself just staring at her, like he was admiring the most breath takingly beautiful sculpture in the world, because that was what she was to him. Breath taking.

He had tried to fight himself about his feelings for months; he used Jeanne as a distraction, telling himself that it was Jeanne he truly loved. But it was a lie and he couldn't escape what he felt any longer. So why couldn't he tell her? It was only five simple words, "Ziva David, I love you".

He looked over at her, peering from behind a pole so as not to be seen gawking. She was sitting at her desk, her long black curls falling continuously onto her face as she tried to complete the tedium of reports she was tasked with. He pulled away, that was it, he was going to tell her.

As he stepped out from behind the pole the elevator door opened after being announced by the customary chime. A man stepped out. Although Tony had never seen him before his heart sank, for a moment he did not know why but before he could even consider an answer the scene that played out before him justified his reaction.

The man walked slowly over to Ziva's desk and upon reaching it tenderly bent down and kissed her forehead through the mass of black curls. He pushed them aside and placed one hand tenderly under her chin, lifting her head so that her eyes met his. After the momentary confusion had subsided her face lit up like he had seen only once before. That face that had once been the sole content of his fantasy at that moment became his nightmare, a sight that would haunt him for so long as he chastised himself. Her smile was followed her hands grabbing his head, pulling it down to her own level and tenderly brushing her porcelain lips against those of the mysterious stranger. When they broke apart he could see she was crying, the man pulled her up and held her close, shielding her from everything else in the world. While this happened Tony looked on helplessly, a single tear escaping him as he replaced the CD in his jacket pocket. The music she would never hear swum in his head. All the things she would never know, if only he wasn't such a coward, if only…

* * *

_**Gut Feelings**_

Ziva lay in bed, Kedar's arms around her, protecting her from everything else in the world. She thought about the last month. Wow, it had been a month, it felt as if they had only just been reunited and yet as if they had never been apart. Her mind strayed back to her youth in Tel Aviv, her youth with Kedar. She remembered vividly the twisted apple tree on the edge of the city where he had carved their names, and immortalized their love.

Suddenly she began to cry, not tears of joy as when Kedar had arrived in the Bull pen but of sorrow and heart ache. Of secrets she longed to share and of pain she longed to forget. As she lay there she felt empty, the emptiness of loss, this pain had engulfed her for so long and gradually eaten away at her heart. She had become so fragile and her heart so broken that she guarded it obsessively, no one could break her heart if no one could see it. But lately she had been struggling with this tact, she so desperately wanted to let him in but she just couldn't‎. She wanted to let him consume her heart and carry her away. All she wanted was to be loved, but she couldn't bring herself to allow it.

Suddenly the moment dissolved with the sound of her cell phone. She jumped up to answer it; it had to be Tony, who else would be calling her at twenty past four in the morning. As she did so however, she was overcome by dizziness and had to take a moment to steady herself before proceeding to answer her phone. It was on its third ring by the time she finally answered. As she picked up the phone she desperately hoped that Tony wouldn't notice that it had taken her this long to pick up; she always answered his calls on the first ring, as if she knew he was calling.

By the time she answered she sounded breathless and flustered, and although she fought hard to compose herself the gnawing ache in her head, that had replaced the dizziness, was winning.

When Tony heard her finally pick up the phone and answer he knew immediately that something was wrong, firstly it had taken her three rings to pick up, secondly her voice sounded deliberate and concentrated but he could clearly hear the shaking uneasiness in it and thirdly, he just knew.

Ziva listened carefully as Tony explained the case, the body of a sailor had been found laying face down in the middle of a DC basketball court by a group of youths, who at the moment, couldn't tell you if they lived on earth or mars. In other words, they were high as a kite. Gibbs was going to meet them at the scene at five. Out of habit he asked if she wanted a lift, and he nearly fell off the chair he had perched himself on when she accepted. That was a first. It took a few seconds for her response to register, and then he asked for an address; for he knew full well that she was not at her apartment. She had told him that she was spending the weekend at Kedar's.

Once she gave him the address he hung up, something felt wrong, apart from the fact that he was up at twenty past four on a Sunday morning. There was something definitely up with Ziva and his gut told him that today was going be a day to remember, he was certain of it. He had had the same horrible feeling the day Kate was killed.


	2. Chapter 2

Thankyou so much to everyone who has reviewed thus far, they're so encouraging!! Here's chapter two for you all, don't forget the presence of the big blue button at the bottom of the screen! :D

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS, it owns me. Haven't we already established that?

* * *

_**Fragile Façade**_

Five minutes after saying goodbye to Tony Ziva had showered and was now berating herself in front of the mirror while trying desperately to cover the bags under her eyes and the pallor of her cheeks with make up. She questioned why she had accepted Tony's offer but conceded that she was in no fit state to drive, she had barely managed to walk across the room to the phone without collapsing, driving would just be dumb. But what would she tell him.

She continued to contemplate this while she dressed; luckily she had brought a spare set of work clothes for the weekend, you just never knew with Gibbs. She had learnt very quickly to always be prepared. She cursed her choice of outfit, a knee-length navy blue skirt and sky blue three quarter length blouse along with the navy heels she had worn to work on Friday. The outfit served only to accentuate her tired, pale features. There was no way Tony would let this slip. Tony… he would there in five minutes and she was yet to formulate an excuse for needing a lift and now so she also needed one for her appearance.

She considered these issues as she checked and then rechecked her gear, everything was there, exactly where it should be. After much contemplation she settled on telling Tony that her car had a flat battery. Now she just had to explain her appearance, then suddenly the door bell rang.

Ziva answered telling Tony that she just needed a minute to leave a note for Kedar and then they could go. Within two minutes they were in Tony's car, Ziva was still trying frantically to think of an explanation when Tony, who had been studying her as much as he was the road, finally asked what was wrong.

"Nothing, Tony, I'm fine. A little tired maybe, but fine".

"You don't look fine, Ziva. You look like something out of return of the living dead."

"Just drop it Tony"

They sat in silence for the remaining five minutes of the trip, both deep in contemplation. Ziva sat there, eyes closed, as if meditating, focusing desperately on ignoring her throbbing head. Tony, who was paying dangerously little attention to the road, could not help but wonder what it was his partner was hiding from him. Her voice on the phone had really scared him; he had never heard her voice shake like that, ever. His mind was doing summersaults, thinking of many varying explanations for Ziva's behavior, each more far fetched and worrying than its predecessor.

Arrival at the scene was a blessing for Tony; his mind would have other things to mull over and he would be momentarily freed from his worry. For Ziva though, it was hell. More people to hide from, to lie to, more pointed gazes and a million things to concentrate on as well as appearing fine.

The team processed the scene as per usual, Tony took measurements and sketched, McGee took photos and Ziva examined the scene and talked to the witnesses. As per usual, Palmer and Ducky arrived late, of course Palmer's fault and Gibbs delegated.

They all did their job and said nothing, but they all noticed. They noticed that Ziva's teasing of Tony seemed forced, they noticed that when she wasn't teasing him she was silent and withdrawn and most of all they noticed her eyes. Try as she may she could not hide the exhaustion. She knew that she was fooling nobody but she clung to the façade for dear life.

* * *

_**Defenseless**_

By ten o'clock that morning the scene had been processed although it this stage there was very little to go on. Little more would be known until Ducky had finished the autopsy of his newest guest and Abby had had a deep and meaningful with the multitude of machines in her lab. That left Gibbs and his team to start chasing down the paper trail.

When Tony arrived back at headquarters he immediately began to search for Ziva. She had asked to come back with McGee and start locating the various documents that would help them to establish more about their victim. That had worried Tony, Ziva hated desk work with a passion and here she was volunteering for it.

As Tony stepped out of the elevator the bull pen appeared empty, McGee was obviously down stairs enjoying helping Abby. But where was Ziva?

"Ziva? Ziva? Come on please, I'm sorry if I upset you in the car, I was just…" His voice trailed off as he noticed Ziva asleep on her desk. Her arms were folded to create pillow on which she rested her head. Her long black curls hid her face from his view as they cascaded on to her desk.

This opportunity was almost too good to pass up, a sleeping Ziva was a defenseless Ziva, this would be the perfect time to get revenge for all those times she'd got him. He looked at her again, he was right, she was defenseless, he couldn't‎.

He slowly made his way over to her. He placed his hand gently on her shoulder; even through her shirt he could feel that she was ice cold. He gently shook her, trying to wake her, better him than Gibbs he thought. Eventually she began to stir, she sat up looking slightly dazed and quickly pushed the escaping locks of her hair back behind her ears. For a moment no one spoke, Tony was trying to formulate a way of obtaining information from her without having his head bitten off.

"I'm worried about you, Ziva" he finally managed to mutter

"Why Tony, I have already told you that I am perfectly fine."

"But you're not and everyone can see that. Maybe I should take you home"

"Tony I can take care of myself and besides I have work to do"

As she said this she stood up. As she did her eyes closed, she was focusing hard on staying upright. Moments later her eyes opened and she exhaled deeply. Tony gave her a knowing look and was about to continue his line of argument when he heard the elevator. Knowing all too well that it was Gibbs he gave up and returned to his desk. His mind was still in turmoil, when Ziva was asleep she had looked so delicate and helpless, he had never seen her look like that before. Something had to be done.

In the few remaining seconds before Gibbs would make it to his desk, Tony sent an email to Jenny saying that he urgently needed to see her. Jenny would know what to do; she always did when it came to Ziva. Also he thought that if Ziva found that he had been talking about her to Jenny she would be more forgiving than if it had been to Gibbs.

When Gibbs arrived he made some lame excuse about photocopies and made his way up to Jenny's office via the back elevator. Cynthia ushered him saying that she was free at the moment. As Tony entered the room he could see the concern etched on her face, maybe mentioning Ziva in the email wasn't wise but oh well. He began by explaining the events of the morning, he knew that he did not have to point out how of character these things were, Jenny knew Ziva better than he did.

Once he'd finished Jenny sighed. She said that Ziva had never dealt well with her own limitations. She agreed that someone should keep and eye on her but also said that Gibbs must be informed, what if he put her in a dangerous situation. For something to be obviously bothering her it had to be big. That was what had both of them so worried.

* * *

_**Reinforcements**_

As Tony left Jenny's office and made his way down the stairs, he couldn't help wishing that he could be of more help to Ziva. He couldn't stop thinking about how fragile she had looked when she was asleep, he just couldn't. This was so unlike Ziva. As he made his way back to his desk he spotted Gibbs and told him that Jenny had requested the pleasure of his company up in her office immediately. With that, Gibbs turned and made his way up the stairs, retracing the path that Tony had just taken.

When he reached Jenny's office he did not even break stride to check that she was available, but instead walked straight on in. Although this was customary it was also indicative of his concern. He knew full well that Tony's momentary absence had nothing to do with photocopying and everything to do with Ziva. He could not help but share Tony's concern and evidently from her expression, neither could Jenny.

"I have only ever seen Ziva look this sick once before, Jethro. That time she had been dealing with glandular fever behind my back for over a month. I'm really worried about her."

"Me too, Jen, but she's stubborn as all hell and will not admit her own physical limitations. What are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know. Maybe I could try banning her from work? In any case, Jethro, promise me you will keep an eye on her and let me know if anything happens."

"She's like a daughter to me, Jen. I will not let anything happen to her, I promise."

Before the conversation could continue any further, they were interrupted by his cell phone. He answered. Tony informed him that Abby had made a break through but in her typical fashion was not willing to play show and tell before everyone was present.

Gibbs hung up and relayed Tony's message to Jenny. He then asked if she wished to accompany him down to Abby's lab. Unusual but sweet, she thought, finally accepting his offer. The two made their way to the elevator and as they entered their hands brushed momentarily, sending chills up each of their spines.

* * *

_**Exhaustion **_

Meanwhile in Abby's lab, Abby was waiting impatiently to inform the team of her latest discovery. Tony and McGee were already present and Ducky was waiting with anticipation via the video hook up. Abby turned and began to study the two men in her lab. Her eyes first fixed on McGee, he was so sweet. He was sitting at her computer frantically trying to speed up the data base search he had initiated on the latent print she had pulled from their victim. She loved it when he played geek.

Her gaze then migrated to Tony. He looked unsettled and anxious. It was only then that she noticed Ziva's absence. Where could she be? And why was Tony so frantic and worried?

"Tony, firstly what's wrong with you? And secondly, where's Ziva? I thought I told you to get everyone down here, this could be big."

"It's Ziva, she's what's wrong. There's something really up with her. I think she must be really sick or something. She looks terrible but she won't admit that anything's wrong."

His voice trailed off as he felt himself being enveloped in one of Abby's customary hugs. Abby knew exactly how much Tony cared about Ziva, it was so obvious. She knew how much it hurt him to see her in pain, and how powerless he felt at not being able to help her.

She was herself worried about Ziva. She had come down earlier to drop off various items of evidence and Abby had been astounded by her appearance. She looked pale and drained, and she had bags under her eyes that vaguely resembled a panda bear. She had been unable to take her eyes off the Israeli for fear that she might drop.

Ziva half stood, half leaned against the wall in the ladies toilets. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her eyes were glassy and her cheeks were almost white. She was exhausted, exhausted to the point of tears. She felt helpless and angry. Tears were a sign of emotion, of weakness and vulnerability, but try as she might she could not stem the flow. She was suddenly overcome by dizziness and allowed her body to slide down the wall until she came to rest on the floor.

She sat there for what seemed like hours until she again felt strong enough to stand. When she did, she turned and faced her reflection. What greeted her was the face of illness and exhaustion she had fought so hard to hide from everyone around her. She scooped up a handful of water and splashed it on her cheeks, trying vainly to wash away her pain. She then turned and exited to rejoin her colleagues, trying in vain to forget the momentary lapse in her façade.

* * *

You know what to do! Reviews make me happeh!!


	3. Chapter 3

New chapter!! I'm loving all the reviews everyone, and SOOOO a little bribery is in order:

Next chap at 25 reviews!! :-D I know, I'm ebil.

* * *

_**Foreboding **_

When Jenny and Gibbs finally made it into Abby's lab they noticed that the team was deep in discussion. They apparently had also noticed Ziva's appearance and were equally worried about her. From what they heard of the conversation the four were in complete agreement, something had to be done; they somehow needed to convince Ziva to go home.

It was then that Gibbs noticed her absence. Where could she be? What if something had happened to her? He was about to start looking for her when the elevator chimed, the doors opened and Ziva entered the room. Everyone stopped talking, the room went silent. Ziva could feel their eyes examining her and quickly tried to dispel the attention.

"Sorry Abs, I was just waiting for the DMV to fax me a copy of the victim's driver's license."

For a moment no one spoke, they all just looked at her, their concern evident in their gaze. Before any of them could say a word, Abby's computer began beeping frantically.

"That must be a match for the for the finger print you guys pulled from our victim's neck" Abby replied after finally tearing her eyes away from Ziva.

"My guess would be that the print you found belongs to your killer, Jethro. The cause of death was a broken neck; professional job too, looks to have been done by someone who was trained."

"Anything else of interest from the autopsy, Ducky?"

"No, apart from the broken neck this young man seems to be in perfect health."

"Daniel Kerr"

Everyone turned to face Abby, their minds still processing her last remark.

"Daniel Kerr, I ran the print through AFIS and his name came back as a match."

The team finally connected the dots. Before any one could protest, Ziva left saying that she was going to track down the last known address for Daniel Kerr and organize search authorization. The team was left standing in Abby's lab, each with a sense of foreboding that they could not ignore.

_**Guardian Angel**_

When the rest of the team reentered the bull pen five minutes later, Ziva proudly presented Gibbs with an address and a search warrant. Gibbs told Tony that he was to gear up and check it out. McGee would be accompanying him. At this point Ziva interjected.

"McGee would be of far more assistance back here than me. Abby will need help processing all that evidence from this morning. Let me go with Tony."

It was at this moment she noticed Gibbs' expression, the concern that was deeply etched in his features.

"Really Gibbs, I'm fine. Like I've already told Tony, I may be a little tired, but I'm fine. I promise."

"Fine David, gas the truck, Tony will be down in a minute. McGee, go help Abby."

As Ziva entered the elevator and the doors closed behind her Gibbs made his way over to Tony.

"You will stick to her like glue, DiNozzo. Don't you dare let anything happen to her. You will be her guardian angel, understand me?"

Tony assured Gibbs that he had Ziva's back and then raced down the stairs to meet her. When he got to the car she was waiting, she was sitting in the passenger seat, eyes closed. He opened the door and found the keys already in the ignition. Before he started the car he turned and looked at her. She looked terrible, absolutely exhausted. Why did she have to be so god damn stubborn? He started the car and drove to Kerr's address in silence, trying desperately to ignore the sense of trepidation building in his gut.

_**The Chase**_

When Tony finally stopped the car outside Kerr's inner-city apartment he noticed that Ziva was still asleep in the passenger seat. He got out of the car and opened her door. He shook her gently, just as he had done back at the office, until she finally begun to stir.

"Tony, I'm sorry, I must have just nodded off and…"

"It's OK, I won't bug you about it. You obviously don't want to talk about it right now, I just want you to know that when you do I'm here for you, OK? Now come on, let's bring this perp in."

With that she got slowly out of the car and walked at Tony's side up the stairs to the door of Kerr's apartment. He rang the bell. He rang it again, and then a third time. Finally he announced himself as a federal agent and requested Kerr to open the door. He was just about to invite Ziva to pick the lock when he noticed a man matching Kerr's description stop abruptly at the bottom of the stairs, drop the bag of groceries he was carrying and bolt.

Ziva noticed too and moments later they found themselves sprinting to keep up with their suspect. Tony continued the pursuit for over 300m until Kerr took a sharp right into a deserted alley and disappeared. It was then that he noticed that Ziva was not with him. When in pursuit she was normally no more than 3 meters behind him. He looked back down the street to see Ziva struggling to catch up. When she arrived moments later Tony grabbed her arm to support her. He explained that Kerr was gone and they should go back and toss the apartment.

As they made their way back down the street he placed his arm around her waist to steady her. She did not object. When they made it back to the apartment Tony found the spare key and let them in. They spent the following half and hour going over the place but found nothing. It was time to call Gibbs.

As Ziva packed the things back in the car Tony made his way into one of the back rooms, picked up his phone and hit speed dial. He gave Gibbs a full rundown of the situation, paying specific attention to Ziva's condition. Once he had finished Gibbs told him to pack up and get back to base, they could talk then.

He relocked the front door and made his way down to the car. Ziva was packing the last of the gear into the trunk, he noticed how much of an effort this was for her. He reached down and helped her lift the last box in. Then she suddenly turned to him.

"Why are you being so nice to me, Tony?"

Because I love you, he thought.

"Because you're really sick and I'm really worried about you."

She did not say anything, but instead opened the passenger side door and got in. Tony sighed to himself, he had not learnt anything from his experiences in the last month. He was still a coward.

_**Helpless**_

When the pair finally made it back to headquarters Ziva quickly resumed searching through various files on both their victim and Daniel Kerr. She was desperately trying to forget the day's events. In some ways it would have been easier if Tony had yelled at her or ignored her, his sympathy made her feel awkward and scared. Tony had never looked at her like that before, even when had been worried about her he always threw in a joke or somehow made her smile. This time all she could see in his eyes was concern, something that she had never seen from him before.

Leaving Ziva to continue her paperwork Tony went and found Gibbs. He was in Abby's lab with McGee and Jenny, all of whom were listening to one of Abby's notoriously confusing and long winded explanations. From what he heard of the conversation, Ducky had found a hair on the victim's body when he was rechecking it. Abby had run it through various data bases searching for a DNA match and so far had nothing. She had also found traces of plastic on the victim's neck around the finger print. Her guess was that the print had not been made by Daniel Kerr but by someone else intent on setting him up.

Just as she was finishing her explanation one of her machines began frantically beeping, they had a match for the hair. It belonged to Daniel Kerr. Before any of them could say anything another one of Abby's babies began beeping. She explained that she had run a chemical analysis on the hair just to be sure; when she had looked at the hair under a microscope she had seen minute traces of white powder on the hair. The results showed that it matched the powder used as a donning agent in plastic gloves. It had to be a set up.

"If it's a set up then why did Kerr run when he saw you and Ziva at his apartment?" McGee raised a valid point. Maybe he knew he was being set up? Maybe he had a record? The team threw around various ideas for nearly half and hour but got no where. It was then that they noticed that Ziva was again missing.

"Last time I saw her she was working on the paper trail, but maybe I should go and check that she's OK."

They all agreed that Tony's idea was a good one and he rushed to the elevator and made his way back up to the bull pen. When the doors opened he quickly made his way over to Ziva's desk. She was again asleep, pen still clutched in her hand and her head resting on a report she had been reading. He placed his hand on her shoulder, she felt like ice.

"Ziva, head up." Still dazed from sleep Ziva complied. She slowly raised her head from her arms only to feel Tony gently place his hand on her forehead.

Tony withdrew his hand in surprise; although he had thought that she might have a fever he was shocked by just how warm she was. "Ziva, you're burning up, I really think you should let me take you home." She sat up slowly, pushed the escaping locks of her hair behind her ears and looked at Tony.

"I'm fine, Tony. What have we got?" He again gave her the knowing look and then proceeded to relay what Abby had just told the team. He turned and brought the images of the finger print and hair up on the plasma. When he turned back to Ziva he noticed that she had stood up and was making her away around her desk to join him, one hand resting on her desk for support. He was about to continue the explanation when Ziva spoke.

"Tony…" her voice dissolved into nothingness as her knees buckled and her body was overcome by the power of gravity. Her arms and legs went limp and her head fell forward. As her body descended her head struck the corner of her desk, her head flew back, her ebony black curls flew in all directions, then her body finally came to rest on the floor.

This whole process took no more than 3 seconds but to Tony it seemed to be playing out in slow motion. He longed to catch her but his feet were rooted to the ground. He was powerless.

He rushed over to her, "Ziva, Ziva, come on please speak to me." Her knees were curled under her body; one arm was flung out to the side, the other tuck into her chest. Through the mass of black curls that enveloped her face he could see that she was white with the exception of the black rings under her eyes. Blood began to trickle from the cut above her eye, the result of her head hitting her desk as she fell, he assumed.

Just then McGee entered from the elevator. When he saw Tony crouched on the ground beside an unconscious Ziva he broke into a run, rushing to join them.

"What happened? Is she OK?"

"I don't know, I was just talking to her about the case and she just collapsed."

As he said this the tears began to well in his eyes, he couldn't lose her, he just couldn't. This was Kate all over again except this time he could have done something, he should have done something. This was his fault.

"Call Ducky, tell him what happened, tell him that I'm bring her down."

With that Tony bent down and cradled Ziva in his arms, he stood up still cradling her. He supported her head with his shoulder and placed one arm around her back, the other beneath her knees. He ran as well as he could under her dead weight. When he reached the elevator he pushed the button with his elbow and stepped in. As he did, he burst into tears. He was overcome by emotion; love, fear and mostly helplessness. He looked down at her face, her eyes were closed, she looked so peaceful. He bent down gently and kissed her forehead and held her head close to his chest, clinging on to her for dear life.


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, since my last bout of bribery worked well (a little too well, I had to write this chapter VERY FAST, so it may be a bit rushed. sorreh.

I'm going to do the same thing again! :-D Only this time, it's 40 reviews, because otherwise I'm writing all the bits waayyy too fast and I don't want to rush them. So yes, next chap at 40 reviews! And yes, I am ebil.

Thankee!!

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS, but if I did, Tiva would have happened by now.

* * *

_**Autopsy**_

After Tony had left to check on Ziva Abby, Ducky, Jen and Gibbs had adjourned to autopsy as Abby wanted to reexamine the area on the victim's neck from which the print and the plastic material had been pulled. Ducky was in the process of locating the victim when the landline began frantically ringing. Gibbs was closest and so answered it.

"Ducky?" Tim sounded frantic and worried, Gibbs heart sank, something had happened. "No Tim it's me. What happened to her?" McGee complied, frantically relaying the little information that Tony had told him. "Ok Tim, you'd better get down here then." Dial tone.

Gibbs hung up only to realize that he had three sets of eyes squarely fixed upon him. None of them said anything, they didn‎'t need to, their eyes said it all. Tears were already making their way down Abby's cheeks and Jen looked lost for words. Ducky was already busying himself preparing one of the benches and his equipment.

Abby finally broke the silence. "What happened? Is she going to be ok?" Gibbs couldn't answer, the words became lodged in his throat and all he could do was to hug Abby. He held her tightly, protecting her, all the time wishing that he could do the same for his other little girl.

After what seamed like hours the elevator finally chimed. Gibbs ran out to meet Tony, who although seemed to be struggling under the weight of his unconscious partner, refused any help offered. He made his way over to the bench that Ducky had prepared and gently laid Ziva down. He blinked hard, trying to banish the tears from his eyes. He had to concentrate, he had to help her and the best way he could do that at the moment was to tell Ducky everything he knew.

"When I went upstairs I found her asleep again. I went over and tried to wake her, I felt her forehead and I'm sure she was burning up but she of course tried to ignore it and asked about the case. I was beginning to explain what Abby had found when I turned around to find her standing up, making her way around her desk to join me. I was about to continue when she, she…" His voice caught in his throat and he found himself unable to finish the sentence, unable to admit what had happened.

For a few moments nervous silence engulfed the room until Ducky spoke. "You were definitely right about the fever, Anthony. For her body temperature to be this elevated her immune system must be severely compromised. That coupled with the fact that she is yet to regain consciousness and the nasty blow to the head she received, I think we're going to need to call for an ambulance. Tim, could you please call Bethesda."

Moments after McGee had left autopsy to call for an ambulance Abby again broke down in tears. "I can't take this" she screamed through her tears, "not again" and with that she ran out of autopsy her head buried in her hands. At this point Jen turned to Gibbs, "I'll go" she whispered. Gibbs new all too well that Jenny needed to feel that she was doing something in order to take her mind off Ziva, and consoling Abby was the best she could come up with at this point.

Tony took his opportunity with the almost clear room and made his way up to Gibbs. "Boss, I was wondering, well, if I could accompany Ziva to the hospital. I mean in the ambulance. Only if it's ok with you though…" his voice trailed off. Gibbs nodded his head in agreement before leaving to check on Abby.

Tony felt like an idiot, he had never sounded like such a guppy in his life. But now was no time to be thinking about that, how could he be thinking about himself when Ziva, his partner and the woman he loved was lying unconscious on an autopsy table. He looked over at her unconscious form. He walked over to her and grasped one of her hands tightly in his own, trying desperately to hold on to her, praying she would not slip away.

* * *

_**Aftermath**_

Fifteen minutes later Tony found himself in the ambulance still clutching Ziva's lifeless hand in his own. The last half an hour was a blur of adrenaline to him, although details escaped him others had become permanently etched upon his brain and he was unable to forget them. He could not forget how helpless she looked; he watched her fall again and again, the moment replaying in slow motion in his mind. Finally the adrenaline began to give out and he was consumed by a wave of tiredness. He allowed his head to rest on his arms and succumb to the memories which flooded back, playing in slow motion, reminding him of her.

Abby had taken refuge in her lab and was trying vain to shut out the outside world. As she sat curled up in one corner of her lab, stuffed hippo clutched tightly in her arms, back resting against the wall, knees tucked into her chest; she could not help but think of Kate. Kate had been her best friend and when she had been killed she had felt as if she would never be able to accept it. That was the same way she now felt about Ziva, she couldn't accept it. She couldn't‎ accept the confident, powerful Israeli was lying unconscious in an ambulance. She couldn't accept that she might lose her. Although they had their differences to begin with Abby had begun to appreciate the integral part Ziva played in the NCIS family and that she was not a replacement for Kate and never would be. She was unique and individual, she was invaluable. They couldn't lose her.

McGee found himself sitting at his desk quite unaware of how he had arrived their. Since he had arrived in the squad room to the sight of an unconscious Ziva being tended to by a frantic Tony, he had been running on autopilot, it was only now that it all began to sink in. He could not manage to pull his eyes away from her desk. His mind wandered back to memories of her. He remembered how in the beginning she was strong and confident, she was what they needed, no one felt they had to worry about losing her like Kate; she was too strong for that. Gradually though, she grew. She became more than a fighter, she became a friend. She stood up for him, when she was not siding with Tony. She made them all laugh. And more and more he could tell that she cared. She cared about all of them and had begun to treat them like her family. He knew how hard that was for her and he felt honored that she valued them enough to begin to let them in.

Ducky stood alone in autopsy, slowly packing away his equipment. He too was thinking about Ziva and dreading the possibility of performing another autopsy of one of their own. He had not been entirely truthful with Gibbs and the team because he couldn't bring himself to admit the possibility that they might lose her. He hoped desperately that EMTs had managed to cool her body temperature for he was sure that if this was not achieved quickly there would almost certainly be organ damage which could lead to…No, Ziva was too strong for that. As he thought about it he knew this was a lie, he knew that she was just as weak and vulnerable as the others, probably more so. She never allowed any of them to see the real her, the scared, frightened girl that hid behind the façade of an armed warrior. Everyone else attributed this to her training but he knew better. He knew that there was something in her past that had scared her sufficiently to cause her to recoil. He just hoped desperately that she would pull through because he knew that her death would have the same effect on the team, it would scar them immeasurably.

As Jenny entered Abby's lab she was overcome with memories of her friend. She remembered how she had taunted Tony, respected McGee, stood up to Gibbs and fought with Abby. She was one of the few people that knew that Ziva really cared she just hoped that everyone else realized just how much. She walked slowly across the lab to Abby who was still curled up on the floor against the wall trying to shield herself from the truth. Jenny bent down slowly and took Abby's hands in her own. As she did she was overcome by the tears that had been threatening to flow freely from her eyes. As Abby looked up her eyes met Jenny's, she was shocked. She had never seen the director break down. Her eyes sought an explanation. Between the tears Jenny finally managed to utter "Five years ago…in Cairo…Ziva risked her life to save me…she barely knew me…and she risked her life for me…and now I just stood there and let that happen to her…I should have been there for her…to protect her"

Gibbs was already on his way to Bethesda. To him this was Kate all over again; he could bear to lose another of his girls…Kelly…Kate…now Ziva. She was so strong, but underneath he knew that she was really emotionally scared and vulnerable. He alone knew that she had been responsible for the death of her half brother; he alone knew the pain that this caused her. He wished that she could trust the others with her secret, that she could allow them to understand, allow them to understand the sacrifice that she had made for them…for him. She had risked so much to save his life and now she was lying unconscious in an ambulance while he stood by and did nothing.

Tony was roused from his state of memory controlled trance as the ambulance finally arrived at Bethesda. To him the trip had taken a geological age and he actually found himself yearning for Ziva's pathological driving. As the EMTs wheeled her down the corridor he held her hand tightly in his own until they reached a door. At this point the EMTs turned to him saying that he would have to stay behind. As they wheeled her through the door, their hands slowly parted, his hand lingering slowly in hers for a moment until she finally slipped away…leaving him behind.

* * *

_**Poison**_

For what seemed like hours Tony sat alone in the hospital waiting room praying desperately for news of his partner… his friend…his soul mate. His mind drifted back to the conversation they had about soul mates, he only wished that she felt the same as him. He never wanted to be separated from her; that was why this waiting was agony. He then began to think back to when he had finally plucked up the courage to tell her how he felt, and to the music that he had intended to give her, the music that was still in his left jacket pocket, right above his heart. Suddenly the melody filled his conscious thoughts and he became lost in the lyrics.

_Broken and Beautiful__  
You fall apart and I run in from anywhere  
Like cameras at an accident  
My staring eyes, I wonder why I care  
Maybe I'll be frightened by the pain  
But watch your tragedy again_

'Cause you are broken and beautiful  
And you're so damn cynical  
But I'm drawn in by the darkness in your eyes  
And it's beautiful  
Broken and beautiful

Talkin' you down from ledges to stay with me  
I'll touch your sharpest edges  
I'll be the one that holds your hand when you bleed  
Falling off in pieces like you do  
I would hand them back to you

'Cause you are broken and beautiful  
And you're so damn cynical  
But I'm drawn in by the darkness in your eyes  
And it's beautiful  
Broken and beautiful

My favourite mess, like a magnet pulling me down until I drop  
Call me obsessed with your sadness but I don't want to make it stop

'Cause you are broken and beautiful  
And you're so damn cynical  
But I'm drawn in by the darkness in your eyes  
And it's beautiful  
Broken and beautiful

And you're not like usual  
And I'm drawn in by the darkness in your eyes  
And it's beautiful  
Broken and beautiful

Tony was awakened from his world of lyricism by the gentle voice of an attending nurse.

"Mr. DiNozzo. The doctors told me to inform you that they have completed their assessment of Miss David. The head injury she sustained as a result of the fall is of no danger to her. What the doctors are concerned about however, is the cause of her illness. When the doctors did a blood test on her they found elevated levels of carbon monoxide in her blood. We do not believe that these levels are consistent with accidental exposure, she may have been poisoned. Although we are presently concerned with her health as carbon monoxide levels this high can be..." she hesitated, before bluntly stating,

"Fatal"


	5. Chapter 5

Yay! Thanks gabiace for bringing in number 40, and to everyone else who reviewed! You guys make me smile!

Next chapter at 53 reviews (bit less than last time) evil grin

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS, coz if I did, Ziva would have gone with Tony for a drink in Recoil. I have never screamed so much at my tv.

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_**Growing Up**_

It took a moment before Tony fully comprehended what the nurse had said to him…fatal. He couldn't even bare to think about the prospect of losing her, of living life without his reason for living. He realized at this moment that how much he had taken her for granted, why on earth had he waited so long to tell her how he felt and now he may never get the chance. He couldn't accept the prospect that the strong, powerful Israeli was lying in a hospital bed, life in limbo, struggling just to hold on. After the news had begun to sink in he realized that he had to call Gibbs, he would want to know. He pulled out his cell and hit speed dial but when Gibbs answered he was unable to speak for repeating the morbid prospect would force him to admit the possibility of losing her.

When Gibbs picked up his cell and saw Tony's name on the caller ID he knew it couldn't be good. The horrible silence that followed only confirmed his fears. Luckily he had just arrived at the hospital and was able to hang up, putting both men out of their misery. He rounded the corner and placed his hand on Tony's shoulder. Before he even asked, Tony's flood gates opened and he poured out everything the nurse had told him.

Once Tony had updated him, Gibbs reached for his cell. He needed to call Abby; he wanted a second opinion on Ziva's blood work and also for Abby to search for anything that might give them a possible route of exposure. Although he couldn't be sure, Gibbs did not believe that Ziva's exposure was accidental. Just as he was about to hit the call button on his cell, Abby, McGee, Ducky and Jenny entered from the elevator. He was about to start briefing them when another nurse appeared.

As the nurse approached them, Tony bolted from his seat. The nurse reported that there had been no change in what they knew or in her condition but she was now allowed visitors one at a time. Everyone agreed that Tony had to go first. He didn't argue; he wanted so desperately to hold her, to convince himself that she was still there fighting, that he hadn't lost her.

As Tony disappeared down the corridor Gibbs began to brief the team. At the word fatal Abby broke down in tears, having to be supported by McGee. Gibbs moved to her, he took her chin between his palms and drew he eyes gently into his own. "Abby," he said calmly "I'm not sure that Ziva's exposure was accidental, I need you to run an analysis on her blood work. I know you want to be here for her but the best way you can help her know is to find out how this happened to her. I promise I will keep you updated and Tim can go back with you to keep you company." With that Abby resumed her normal steely determination in the face of a forensic puzzle vowing that she would not sleep until she caught the bastard responsible for this.

As Abby and McGee returned to the lab, Jenny placed her hand tenderly on Gibbs leg. She knew how much this was tearing him up inside. He felt responsible because he should have protected her…and he didn't. "She's going to pull through this, Jethro. She's strong and she's a fighter. This isn't her time; she would never go out like this, lifeless and vulnerable. And Jethro…whatever happens this is not your fault" He nodded slowly and made his way to Ziva's room.

When he got there he could see Tony maintaining his bedside vigil. Both of his hands clutched tightly at one of Ziva's lifeless hands. Their fingers intertwined, just as their lives did and he knew that ripping them apart would cause both tremendous pain. He had watched them grow just like his own children. When she arrived she was defensive, consumed by her powerful façade. But gradually that had faded. She had begun to open up to the feelings and emotions she had concealed for so long and she had allowed herself to care. She had allowed herself to care…particularly for Tony. She had been so concerned about him when he was undercover but she had always been there for him.

Tony had also grown. He was no longer the overgrown college kid with an eye for superficially beautiful women. He had grown to appreciate deeper attraction even though it had caused him much pain. He had also grown into her friend. He knew that he had covered for her so that she could spend time with Roy before he died. He was finally growing up. But sometimes growing up is hard and Gibbs feared that losing Ziva might just be too much for him.

_**Memories**_

As Tony sat there, fingers gently intertwined with Ziva's, he couldn't help but let his mind wander back to all the moments they had shared together. He couldn't believe that it had been nearly three years since she had first walked in to the bull pen and caught him "having phone sex". That was the first thing she had ever said to him…

Since then their relationship had grown as each of them grew up just that little bit or opened up that little bit more. He remembered going undercover with her. He had enjoyed that assignment more than she would ever know. It had given him the chance just to be with her, that was what he treasured most; the other extracurricular activities had just been an added bonus. That was what was different about her, like no other woman she made him happy and she made him laugh.

He remembered being locked in a shipping container with her. Only they would manage that feat but still on some level he had enjoyed the time. He felt he saw a different side of her that day, he saw a part of the Ziva that she tried to keep hidden. It was the first time he had seen her uncomfortable with a situation.

She had gradually opened up to him more and more. She had told him she was a screamer, playfully of course. She had joked with him about handcuffs and she had kept him in his place. He remembered she had supposedly been responsible for the death of a suspect, he remembered how helpless she was, just like he was now.

She had grown so much. He could see that she had allowed herself to care. When Gibbs was in the explosion she tried to be strictly professional, distancing herself from her emotion. Despite this he could see that she was deeply troubled, that she felt pain that she may have lost Gibbs. She had allowed herself to feel pain…for the first time in a long time.

He remembered how she had been the one to help Gibbs recall his memory. God only knows how she did it, he thought, probably shoved her sig in his face or something. He laughed. She could still make him laugh when she lay unconscious in a hospital bed; that was what made her unique. Still chuckling to himself he remembered the time she had gone undercover as a geek, he also remembered the unfortunate soul that had got a little too personal with her, although he himself had been guilty of that on occasion. He remembered being distracted by her cleavage whilst she tried to disarm a bomb. It was a life or death situation and he couldn't help but stare down her shirt. Well, the view was breath taking.

He remembered how worried she had been about him. The whole time he had been undercover with Jeanne, she had been worrying that he had a serious illness. Then when she found out about Jeanne she did not, as he expected she would, get angry at him for lying, but instead she was there for him. She talked him through all the hard times. She was a true friend.

Finally he thought about McGee's book. He thought of Tommy and Lisa and how much they loved each other and how much he wished that aspect of McGee's book could be transposed into reality.

Mind still consumed by the past, he lulled into a disturbed sleep, all the time thinking of her.

_**Because I Love You**_

Abby was frantically running Ziva's blood sample through her mass spectrometer, all the while trying desperately trying not to think about the woman it belonged to. As the machine whirred, analyzing microscopic particles contained in the sample, Abby buried herself in Tim's arms.

"I can't lose her Tim. We can't lose her. I can't stop thinking about all the horrible things I said to her, saying that she didn't care when Gibbs was in a coma, saying that she had no feelings. I said all those horrible things to her and now I might never get the chance to take them back".

"Abby, Ziva knows how much you care about her. You were the one she called when she was on the run. You were the one who comforted her after Roy died. You guys may have had your differences to begin with but you have grown so much closer and I'm sure she knows how much you care about her, so don't worry"

Just then Abby's mass spectrometer began beeping frantically indicating that it had completed its analysis of Ziva's blood. Abby moved slowly to the computer not wanting to read the analysis but knowing she had to. The analysis showed a high level of chemicals consistent with exhaust fumes. This had to be the source of the carbon monoxide in her blood. But there were no traces of petroleum in the sample meaning that the exhaust fumes had not been from a car. Also the levels in her blood were consistent with low level prolonged exposure for perhaps eight hours in total. Considering the progression of Ziva's condition Abby surmised that exposure had taken place some time during Saturday night as the progression of symptoms is quite fast and she had seemed perfectly fine when she left on Friday.

Armed with this new information she called Gibbs. He answered before even one ring had been completed. She relayed her findings. Gibbs said he needed to find out where she was Saturday night so as to determine this source of the carbon monoxide. Abby said she didn't know but that Tony might. With this he thanked her and hung up.

Gibbs promptly relayed this new information to Ducky who said he would transfer it to the doctors to allow them to modify the treatment that she would be receiving. Gibbs then went in search of Tony, although it did not really count as a search as he knew exactly where he would be, where he had been all night, with Ziva.

As Gibbs quietly entered her room he noticed that Tony had finally fallen asleep. Although he resented waking him he knew that he needed to, for Ziva's sake. Without much coaxing Tony began to stir. As he did he began to panic, thinking that something might have happened to Ziva whilst he was asleep. Gibbs calmed down and then proceeded to explain what Abby had found.

Without being asked Tony provided Ziva's whereabouts on Saturday – Kedar's. With that Gibbs made a quick call back to headquarters to request a warrant, he would pick it up in about twenty minutes along with McGee. With that he left saying that Tony should meet him outside in five minutes. Gibbs then went and briefed Ducky and Jenny. Jenny could no longer handle sitting by and doing nothing, she wanted to come and help search Kedar's apartment and Gibbs consented, he knew she needed to be doing something. Ducky would stay at the hospital and monitor Ziva's condition and liaise with the hospital staff.

After about four minutes Tony realized that it was time to say goodbye, for now at least. He would be back and she would still be there waiting for him, this statement was half in self reassurance and half in prayer. As got up to leave he felt their fingers linger together just as they had done when she had been wheeled down the corridor away from him. He bent down gently and brushed the escaping locks of her hair from her face and tenderly kissed her forehead.

"I will be back, sweet cheeks. Don't you dare go anywhere without me in the meantime. Every moment I'm not with you I will think of you and what you mean to me. I won't forget you for a moment, because I can't…because I love you.


	6. Chapter 6

HELLO ALL!! I IS BACK BABY!!

I've been away a while, have had many things occupying me and no I have a new chapter!! So, sorry for the wait. Next chapter at 56 reviews!! still bribing, hehe - I'll never learn!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS, and subsequently, if you want me, I'll be sulking in my corner over there.

* * *

_**Love and Loss**_

Her thoughts swum in vague, indistinguishable directions, there was no rhyme or reason to what she saw, no element of time. All she saw was death and pain. She saw Tali's car disintegrate as it was engulfed by fire. She saw herself running to the wreckage, pulling her lifeless, bloodstained sister free. She saw the light leave her eyes, as they closed for the last time.

She was again consumed by fire as she watched the ship explode, the explosion that had nearly claimed his life. She remembered running aboard, Tony close behind. She had been the one that found him, lifeless and charred.

She saw her mother. Life retained only by the mass of tubes keeping her alive. She remembered praying for her. She remembered irrationally hoping that she might recover, even when she knew in her heart that she would not. She watched her father pull the plug, she watched him give up hope.

She saw Ari, her own brother whom she had loved and adored. She watched the pool of blood seeping slowly from the bullet wound between his eyes, the bullet that she had put there. She watched him die. She watched herself leave the last part of her family, of Israel, behind.

She saw Sarah, her tiny, perfect little girl. Despite her lifelessness she was perfect; if only she had been given a chance at life. She watched her younger self sitting alone in a hospital room saying goodbye to the child she never had a chance to know. She watched all hope and innocence leave the world.

She saw Tony. She saw his smile, his laugh, his spiky, messy hair. She felt him brush the hair gently from her forehead and kiss her gently. She heard him say he loved her. She saw his car, she saw the flames. She heard herself cry out his name. And as she did, she awoke.

_**Alone**_

"Tony…"

The cry alerted the hospital staff near by and within minutes she was surrounded by countless hospital staff. She was relieved to see Ducky's familiar face amongst the doctors. After they were satisfied that she was stable she was finally left in peace. Ducky stayed with her though and for that she was glad.

"How are you feeling, my dear?"

She tried to respond but found that her voice did not come easily. When she finally did manage to vocalize a response it was quiet and breathy and was frequently interrupted by her need for breath.

"Truthfully…I feel as if I have come off second best with a bus. What happened to me?"

"You collapsed my dear, and as you did you hit your head. But that is not the problem. The reason for your collapse is... uh, do you remember how you were feeling yesterday?"

"I remember Tony saying I looked like crap…I also remember him being nice to me…"

"Well that can be attributed to the fact that you have received a high level of exposure to carbon monoxide fumes. At first this presents with flu like symptoms which is consistent with Anthony's description of your symptoms. But as it progresses the symptoms become more serious. Although regaining consciousness is a good sign, you are not out of the woods yet, my dear"

"Was Tony here?"

"He was. He stayed with you all night. He only just left. He was the one who was with you when you collapsed. He managed to carry you down from the squad room to autopsy single handedly and he was the first to diagnose your fever…The doctors said you screamed his name as you woke up…"

"Did I? I don't remember why I would have done that" she lied. "Can I see him?"

"I'm sorry my dear but I believe he is at Kedar's apartment is it, trying to locate the source of the fumes."

"Oh…it's just that I wanted to see him…there's something that I wanted to tell him"

_**Evidence**_

Half an hour later Gibbs, Jenny, McGee and Tony had begun searching Kedar's apartment. Tony could not help but think about the man who owned the apartment, the man who owned Ziva. He was so lucky to have her and yet he was yet to appear at the hospital. Tony felt a surge of anger flow through his body; how could this man take her for granted?

McGee was working alongside Tony searching all possible sources of exposure in the bedroom. He noticed that Tony seemed distant and was barely achieving anything but he decided that at the moment Tony just needed time and space, so that was what he gave him.

Jenny and Gibbs were searching the kitchen. At present, Gibbs was investigating the microwave and Jenny the refrigerator. They were about to give up when Jenny finally made the breakthrough.

"Jethro, I think I've found it. The screws on the exhaust plate on the refrigerator have been recently adjusted and there seem to be some fibers caught behind the plate. Can you get Tim to bring in the equipment?"

Moments later Jenny's suspicions were confirmed, the equipment showed dangerously high levels of carbon monoxide, levels beyond that consistent with malfunction. That coupled with the recently adjusted plate and miscellaneous fibers, it was definitely deliberate. But who? Jenny had also managed to pull a latent finger print from the plate and it along with the fibers were being sent to Abby for analysis. It was then that Gibbs cell rang. It was Ducky, Ziva had finally regained consciousness.

_**Forensics**_

As soon as hung up, Gibbs relayed the news to the team. Everyone was immeasurably relieved. They would all be able to go and see her once they had dropped the evidence off at headquarters. As they pulled up back at NCIS HQ, Tony volunteered to remain behind with Abby saying that she would need company especially knowing that she was the only one unable to see her friend. Although puzzled by this request, Gibbs agreed and with that, the rest of the team left at the mercy of Gibbs' erratic driving.

As Tony made his way down to Abby's lab he questioned why he had asked to stay. Ziva meant so much to him and he had been waiting to see her for so long but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to see her, he knew that. He wanted to see her mischievous smile and the light in her eyes when she laughed. He wanted to be with her…but he was afraid. He wanted to tell her how he felt…but he was afraid. Afraid that she might not feel the same way. Afraid that he might lose her forever.

With that the elevator doors opened and he felt himself being enveloped by one of Abby's customary hugs which was accompanied by loud, repeated squealing of "She's awake! She's awake!" Abby was apparently higher than normal on a mixture of caffeine and adrenaline which served to make her speech even more rapid fire than usual.

"I just need to finish running the analysis on the evidence from the crime scene and then I can go and see her. I can't wait to se her. I hope she's ok. Of course she'll be ok, she's Ziva. I mean you could probably run her over with a truck and she'd still be ok. I hope she doesn't hate me for all the mean things I've said to her. I mean I was a real bitch to her when she arrived and she didn't deserve that. I was just sad about Kate and…But that wasn't her fault and I shouldn't have taken it out on her. I just really hope that she's ok because I don't know what I would do without her, what we would do without her. I mean we're a family Tony and I hope that she knows that, that you all know that…"

"Abby calm down now. It's going to be ok. She's going to be ok. And the faster that you calm down and run the tests then the faster we can go and see her."

With that Abby begun quickly preparing the evidence. She scanned in the finger print and began a comparison search with any database that she could think of. She then took a sample of the fibers and ran them through the mass spectrometer. All they could do now was wait. Wait …that was all they had been doing all day. Waiting just lead to thinking and worrying and that was the last thing that Tony needed right now.

Luckily for him the wait was not too long. Within about ten minutes they had a match on the finger print although because of its owner it did not provide conclusive evidence. The print matched one taken from Ziva's new boyfriend Kedar when he entered the country a month ago. Since it was his apartment his print on the plate not going to be useful, it was unlikely that he was responsible. Tony was starting to give up hope when the mass spectrometer began beeping. It had found traces of human sweat on the fibers and Abby would be able to isolate DNA. She did so and ran it against the same data bases as the prints. Moments later the results came back and what came up on the screen nearly caused both Tony and Abby to fall off their chairs. They definitely needed to call Gibbs.

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See the pretty purply button right there? Come on, you know it's there. Just below, yup, down down down STOP! now CLICK! well done.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey all, sorry for not updating as soon as we got to 56, I haven't checked it in a while!! Next chap at 65! :D

DISCLAIMER: If I owned NCIS, I would own Tony too. I don't. But one day, one day...

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_**Deep and Meaningful**_

Back at the hospital Jenny was sitting quietly with Ziva. She was so relieved that Ziva seemed to be ok although she wasn't quite her normal self. She seemed quiet and withdrawn, as if something was troubling her. She wanted desperately to help her friend but knew from experience that trying to pry into Ziva's emotions could lead to fiery arguments, which would not be appropriate at this time. But still she had to try.

"Ziva, are you ok? I mean apart from the whole almost dying thing." They both laughed. "It's just that something seems to be bothering you and as your friend I want to help you get through it. I mean if you don't want to tell me then that's fine too, but I just want you to know that I'm here for you"

For a few moments the room was consumed by silence. Jenny was beginning to think that she had pushed to hard but then Ziva began to speak.

"Jenny…what does it feel like to be in love?" The question caught Jenny totally off guard. Ziva seemed like a teenager, confused about her feelings and unsure of what they meant. Jenny couldn't quite bring herself to answer but then she thought of her and Jethro and the words just poured from her mouth, and as they did she relived every wonderful moment of their lives together.

"Well I suppose being in love is this warm fuzzy feeling that makes you blush every time you see them, that makes your breath catch when you talk to them. But it's more than that. It is the deepest desire just to be with them, just to spend time with them because of the way they make you feel. They make you feel like a teenager again; well at least they make you giggle like one. And because of this desire, when you're not with them they are all you can think about, they are all you want."

Outside Gibbs cell phone rang, it was Tony.

"Hi boss, Abbs and I have got something, well mostly Abbs but anyway, we think we know who sabotaged the fridge and poisoned Ziva. We found his DNA on the fibers from behind the plate…it was Kedar."

"Are you sure DiNozzo? I mean it is his apartment, that might explain the DNA."

"Well we aren't a hundred percent certain so don't tell Ziva anything yet but I've had a warrant issued and have agents locating him as we speak. He should be here in about twenty minutes. Would you like the honor of questioning him or should I just do it seeing as though I'm here and you're there and I'm sure you haven't even seen her yet. I mean I bet Jenny, I mean Director Shepherd has been in there since you got there having some girly... what do they call them? Deep and Meaningfuls, or something. Like those movies with the chicks and…"

"DiNozzo!"

"OK, shutting up boss."

"You're right though. I wouldn't have a clue what they're talking about but she sure has been in there a long time. Women. And you may have the honor of questioning him. If Abby's finished the analysis from the crime scene then tell her she can come and meet us here. Once you've finished the interview you can too" With that he hung up.

_**Heart to Heart**_

After about another five minutes Jenny finally left Ziva's room much to the relief of the others who were patiently waiting to see her. Gibbs of course pulled rank and went in next. He was still slightly taken aback at the sight of Ziva looking weak and pale with a multitude of tubes connecting her to various machines. He felt uncomfortable, this was not the Ziva David that he knew, it was the Ziva he had only seen once before. She was weak and vulnerable, just like she was two years ago when she brought his memory back.

"_Remember" she said it with such conviction that he was forced to pull away. "That's what I've been trying to do since I woke up in this damn room." There was a pause. "That's a start". "What is?" "The old Gibbs stare. You gave it to all of us; Tony, McGee, me." Frustration overcame him and he took it out on her. "I don't know what you're talking about!" Then she grabbed his hand and took it in her own and whacked the back of her head with it and with that everything came flooding back. For a moment he was consumed by memories and when he regained his surroundings she began to speak again, all the time trying to hold back tears, her voice catching in her throat. "Ari…Ari killed Kate…And I…I killed Ari…" "He was your brother" a muffled sound was all she could give in reply. Tears were already beginning to flow freely down her porcelain cheeks. "You killed your brother…to save me" With that the façade finally crumpled and she was overcome by pain and grief. As he held her in his hands, protecting her, he could not help but think how vulnerable she was at that moment._

The same broken and vulnerable woman lay before him and he longed to be there to comfort her. "Hey, how are you feeling?" "Ok I suppose…apart from the fact that I feel as if I have been hit by a truck and my head refuses to stop throbbing. Typical DiNozzo, I should have known he would drop me" he laughed, only she would be making jokes and paying out Tony at a time like this, it was how she coped. "By the way, where is he?"

Ok, this was the tricky part, how much to tell her, how much was too much. "Tony is still back at headquarters conducting an interview with a man we believe may be connected with your poisoning. Once he is finished he will down here straight away or he will have me to answer to. He has been really worried about you, he spent the whole night in your room holding you hand, refusing to let go. He's repaying all that you did for him throughout the time he was undercover, even the worrying part. Are you sure you two aren't married?" At this she began to laugh until she was stopped by her inability to breathe.

He quickly moved to her and tried to calm her down and regulate her breathing, soon she was peaceful again. "I'm sorry" he said. "I just want you to know that he cares and that he hasn't abandoned you. I know you have been asking to see him and I promise you will soon. In the meantime we are all here for you. Abby's right, we are a family. Dysfunctional I grant you, but a family none the less and we will stick together and will always be there for each other. Speaking of which I'm sure that Abby will be here soon if you're up to it. From what Tony said I think she's had enough Caf-Pow to sink a ship." They both laughed thinking about the whirlwind of energy that would soon be entering the hospital.

_**Interrogation**_

Twenty minutes and what seems like an age after talking to Gibbs, Tony was informed that Kedar was waiting for him in interrogation. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, willing himself to keep calm and retain his composure and most all not to lose his temper.

As he entered the interrogation room he studied the man already seated. He was probably of about average height and build, vaguely attractive and wearing almost nondescript clothing. That was not was of interest to Tony though, it was his behavior and body language that caught Tony's eye. The man sat rigidly in his seat, constantly fiddling with his fingers and his watch. He was completely on edge. A definite indicator of guilt. As Tony sat down he came to the decision to try the soft approach, make friends with the guy, get him to confide in him, and then make him feel guilty.

"Hi Kedar, sorry to keep you waiting but I was only just informed that you'd arrived. I hope the agents who brought you in weren't too inhospitable; you are just here for a chat after all. So you've been seeing Officer David, sorry I mean Ziva, for about a month now isn't it?"

The only reply was a feint nod.

"How did you guys meet, I mean you arrived a month ago it seemed that you already knew her."

"We grew up together in Tel Aviv. We were high school sweethearts. She was the most beautiful person I had ever seen but no one seemed to talk to her. They said that she had a temper and that she would never really let anyone in anyway. We only met when we were about 17 or 18 but I was immediately drawn to her, I didn't care what anyone else thought about her, to me she was amazing. It took a while but finally she began to trust me and even started to open up to me. We started dating when we were about 18 and we were really happy. But then after a year her father came and saw me. He said that we were not to see each other anymore and that if we did he had means of making life very uncomfortable. I knew not to question him so I left. I hadn't seen in nearly ten years but when I got transferred to America I decided to make the effort to track her down."

"You're a very lucky guy, Kedar, Ziva is an amazing woman. I would give anything to be in your position. Well not your current one, cause you see Kedar, late yesterday evening Ziva collapsed at work and she has only just regained consciousness. The doctors have informed me that the reason for this series of events is a prolonged exposure to carbon monoxide. NCIS agents examined your apartment this morning and found the source of this to be you fridge. They also found that the exhaust panel had been tampered with and found your finger prints and DNA on it."

For a moment there was nothing but silence until Kedar spoke again, this time his voice wracked with sobs of guilt.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt her but he told me that ten years ago she was the one who wanted to end it… because she didn't love me anymore. I was so angry. He said that she was a traitor to our country, that she had killed one of our own and that she was turning against us. So I agreed to come to America, to pretend to be in love with her again and to kill her. But when I got here every time I looked at her I felt guilty about what I had to do, so I just stopped looking at her. I became distant and she noticed. But she stayed although she seemed forced in doing so. I finally decided that I still loved her enough not to betray her. I only gave her a low dosage…I'm so sorry."

"Hey, wait a minute. Backtrack. Who is this "he" who told you to kill her?" Because when I get my hands on him, he thought, he's going to be a dead man.

"It…it was her father"


	8. Chapter 8

LAST CHAPTER!! Long chapter, too. Can I just say thankyou to everyone who's reviewed - it's so encouraging! AND it's my first ever fic! So thankyou, I loved writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it!

Final thanks go to my beta gabiace - she is made of win - read her stuff!

Echo Of Infinity

DISCLAIMER: I don't own NCIS. If I did, Tiva would have happened a long, LONG time ago.

_**Family**_

Twenty minutes later Tony had arrived at the hospital to find Abby and McGee in Ziva's room. I couldn't help but feel a little anxious, hoping that Abby wouldn't have done too much damage with her typical hugs. Apparently Jenny and Ducky had gone to get coffee which left him and Gibbs alone outside. He quickly proceeded to update Gibbs. Gibbs looked shocked but most of all he was angry. He had been a father and he missed that, he would give anything to have Kelly back. In contrast Ziva's father had authorized the murder of his own daughter. Tony had mentioned that Kedar had said that she had betrayed her country…her father must have found out about Ari.

Inside Ziva's room Abby was squealing and talking so fast that no one could really understand what she was saying. It was then that Tim placed his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down. Thankfully he was successful, her speech slowed and she again became understandable.

"I'm just so glad that you're ok. You had us all so worried. I mean even before you passed out. Everyone was so worried about you. We had this whole big team conference about the best way to send you home but we couldn't think of anyway of getting around how stubborn you are. Please don't ever do that again Ziva. We were all freaking out. Like I keep saying, we're a family and families are always there for each other. I want you to know that we will never judge you and you don't need to keep secrets from us. Isn't that right Tim?"

"She is right Ziva. We all care about you so much, please, please don't do that again. You well and truly freaked everyone out, especially Tony. He has been on edge the whole time. That is the few times I've seen him. He's spent most of his time in here with you. He never left your side."

"Tim, where is he? He's the only one of you I haven't seen and I really want to."

Abby made her way over to the door of Ziva's room and upon sighting Tony with Gibbs she let out another high pitched squeal of "He's here, he's here. Do you want me to go and get him?" Ziva nodded silently, trying to compose herself and prepare herself for what was to come.

Moments later Abby and Tim had said there goodbyes to Ziva and had made their way over to Tony and Gibbs who seemed deep in conversation.

"Tony, she has been asking to see you all day. You two are so close; I think it would be easier if the news came from you."

"But how am I supposed to tell her that…"

"Tell who what" Abby interrupted. "Never mind I'm sure Gibbs will fill us in. Tony, Ziva wants to see you. She has apparently been asking to see you ever since she regained consciousness."

"You heard her Tony, go. Don't worry, she trusts you. She would rather hear this from you than from anybody else, I guarantee."

_**You're Not Alone**_

As Tony made his way to Ziva's door he could not help but hesitate, how on earth was he supposed to tell her? He was scared, scared beyond all belief; scared of hurting her, scared that she would not believe him, scared that she would hate him, scared to see her cry. But despite all this, she deserved the truth, because he knew from painful experience that trying to live a lie of ignorance is futile. It didn't matter how scared he was, he had to put that aside; for her.

As he slowly and quietly opened the door to her room he noticed that she was again asleep. The poor thing looked completely exhausted, how could he be expected to tell her the horrible truth, how could she be expected to hear it.

He made his way over to her and sat in the chair beside her bed which over the past 36 hours had become his home whilst he sat with her. He gently placed his hand upon hers, gently caressing her soft hands, holding them in his own, and as he did her eyes fluttered open.

As they did he was overcome by the most amazing feeling of relief, he had waited so long to look into those eyes again and to see the joy in them. As he gazed into her deep brown eyes he was greeted by such a joy, although it pained him to see it knowing full well that in a few moments time he would be the one to shatter it.

"Tony! I have been waiting so long to see you" Her voice sounded weak and was constantly broken by her need for breath but yet the joy was still evident, the joy in seeing him.

"How are you feeling, sweet cheeks?" He couldn't help himself, he knew just how much it annoyed her when he called her that but he still persisted, just to see such annoyance, just to see that she was still there. He was not disappointed.

"Oh, I am fine…my little hairy but…apart from the fact I feel as if I have been hit by a truck."

He tried desperately to laugh, to enjoy her sarcasm, the light that had been missing from his life; but he couldn't. He had to tell her.

"Ziva…there's something I need to tell you…I'm sorry that I didn't come and see you sooner but I was interviewing a suspect…the man that did this to you" the vehemence in his voice was palpable "I only just finished the interview…he admitted it…"

"Who, Tony?" She could sense the tension and pain in his voice, this worried her tremendously.

"It…it was…Kedar, your boyfriend. He tampered with the exhaust system in the refrigerator in his apartment so that it would produce high levels of noxious fumes. The bastard had an oxygen mask so that he wouldn't be affected…bastard"

"Why?" She sounded so frail and fragile as she said this, confused and lost like a young child. The sounded wrenched at his heart, he couldn't believe that he had to tell her this.

"Because someone told him that you lied to him, that you broke his heart when you were both quite young, that you were traitor, that you killed one of your own, and that he deserved revenge…that you deserved to die."

"Who?"

"…Your father…"

She was lost. For the first time her eyes revealed true vulnerability and helplessness. She was a child again, alone and unprotected. For a long time she just lay there, trying in vain to process what she had just heard but failing to come to terms with it, unable to accept the truth. Then finally she spoke.

"I should have known…he seemed different…he was not the man that I had fallen in love with all those years ago…my father would never have let him anywhere near me after what happened…why was I so stupid…stupid enough to think that he could really love me."

Her words tore at his heart, he longed to tell her how he felt, that he could not imagine a man that could not love her, because to him she was perfect, a goddess. But he couldn't, she was lost and in pain, confused. He couldn't do that to her.

"Ziva what happened? …. I mean, you don't have to tell me, it's just that if you want to talk…"

"When I was young, about eighteen or so I think, Kedar and I were madly in love…" As she spoke she tried to remain calm, choking back sobs all the while. "We were young and foolish…one thing lead to another, and well…I was pregnant. He never knew though, I never told him…I tried to hide it…for about six months I did but then…it became too difficult…my father noticed. I do not think that I have ever seen him as angry as he was that night" Suddenly the tears began to flow freely; her eyes glazed over as she remembered, as she relived every painful moment and felt every chilling blow. "He was so angry…that was why I had hidden it from him…but I failed…I failed her Tony, it was my fault…he was so angry…he hit me, first in the face…I fell to the ground…I should have been stronger, I should have done something…but what was I supposed to do? How could I hit my father…I couldn't get up, I tried but I couldn't…he just kept kicking me, aiming deliberately for my chest and stomach…tried hard to keep conscious, but I couldn't…the next thing I remember is waking up on that floor, barely able to move…somehow I managed to make my way to a hospital…but it was too late…she was dead…he killed her…he killed my little Sarah…my princess…she was so perfect…she was old enough to have a chance if she was premature…but he never gave her that chance…he killed her…he told Kedar that he was never to see me or talk to me again…he killed my child and took away the man I loved…"

For a moment Tony was consumed by shock, at what she had been through but more so that she had told him, that she had opened up to him…that she trusted him. He could not betray such trust. He reached over gently and wiped the tears from her eyes and held her close. "I'm so sorry" he whispered.

"No don't be sorry, you don't know the truth…you don't know everything. I have lost so many people Tony, apart from Sarah, but on some level I know I deserve it…You know about Tali, my beautiful little sister, who never saw her seventeenth birthday…she was an amazing person Tony, she had a capacity to love that I have never seen in anyone else…she had the most to give to the world and she was ripped away…while I survived, and for what? I failed Tony, I failed all of you, you, Gibbs, McGee, Ducky…Kate…You have to understand I loved him…I never thought he was capable of that…I was his control officer, I was responsible for him…he was my brother, I should have known…I should have stopped him…I should have saved her…she lost her life because of me…I killed her…I'm so sorry Tony"

"Should have saved who? Why are you sorry?" Tony was completely lost within the conversation and required further, clearer explanation but did not want to push her for he could see what pain she was in.

"Kate…It was my fault…"

"How was Kate's death your fault, that bastard Ari shot her…how can that be your fault?"

"Because I was his control officer…because he was my brother…"

With this she became wracked with sobs of guilt and became unable to look at Tony, she could not bare to see the pain she knew he would feel or the concern and sympathy he extended that she did not deserve. But mostly she did not want to see him walk out the door for the last time and leave without saying goodbye. Although it was painful and took much of the little strength she possessed, she managed to turn herself on her side so as not to look at him, as the tears continued to cascade down her cheeks.

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder…the touch was tender and caring. She turned and as her eyes met his she could not see even the faintest trace of anger.

"I can't believe you managed to work with Gibbs after he shot your brother…I don't think I could have done that…but then again I'm not as strong as you…I never have been"

"I managed because…Gibbs did not shoot Ari…I did…"

He watched on helplessly as the tears continued to stream down her face as she remembered pulling the trigger, remembered ending his life.

"I'm so sorry Tony. I know how close you and Kate were. I know how much it hurts to lose a friend. I'm so sorry."

"Ziva…It's not your fault. You did everything you could. You did everything that was expected of you and more. You killed your own brother, whom you loved to save the life of a man you barely knew and avenge the death of a woman you never met. You gave up the last part of your family that meant something to you for us. How could I ever hold his actions against you?"

"You are right Tony, he was the last part of my family, the last person who loved me, apart from Kedar that is. That is why I jumped at the chance to be with him, because I thought he loved me and more than anything I just wanted to feel loved…but none of it meant anything. That is why you are all so important to me…you, Abby, McGee, Gibbs, Jenny, Ducky…you are all I have left…Abby is right, we are a family and families should not have secrets…I am so sorry I never told you any of this Tony but I was scared…everyone in my life has judged me, I was afraid that if you knew the truth that you would too…but I was also afraid of being hurt…I'm sorry that I couldn't trust you."

She again broke down in tears which had a profound effect upon Tony. Never before had he seen Ziva cry, she always bottled up her emotions and kept them heavily guarded but now she was letting out everything that she had hidden…she was allowing herself the chance to heal.

"Ziva, I can not imagine how you lived with all of this…you are so strong and you are so amazing…but I want you to know that it's ok to be vulnerable, to feel pain…to cry…because I will always be here to dry your tears."

Suddenly she began to think, what if the words she had heard him speak just before she woke up were not a dream but were real. What if he felt the same way as she did? Throughout her life she had lost so many people whom she had cared about and lied to countless others. It was at that point that she made a conscious decision, she decided to be brave, to stop running, to confront the truth…to confront her feelings.

"Tony…there is something else I would like you to know…when I was in the coma…just before I woke up…I remembered all the people in my life I have lost, or thought I had lost…I remembered Tali, Sarah, Gibbs, Ari, my mother…and you. I saw your car…engulfed by flames… I though I had lost you…the doctors said I screamed your name as I woke up…I can't lose you too Tony…But before I saw your car…I saw you…you were standing over me…you brushed my hair out of my eyes…you kissed my forehead…and you said…you loved me…Tony…was that real…or was it just a dream?"

For a moment Tony couldn't think of what to say, he didn't want to hurt her or make things awkward between them if she didn't feel the same way, and most of all he didn't want to lose her. But she had been open with him…she had shared her deepest and most vulnerable secrets with him, did he not owe her the same respect.

"You did not dream that, sweet cheeks. I said that just before Gibbs made me leave you…you have no idea how worried I have been about you, even before you collapsed on top of me. I hated it how you would never let me in because it made me worry…I always worried that one day something would happen to you and we wouldn't be able to help because we didn't know. That is why I value your honesty so much…I know how hard it must be for you to open up to someone especially after all the people you have lost and you have no idea how honored I am that you trust me that much…And Ziva…you needn't ever feel that you are unloved because you mean everything to me, you are so beautiful and so amazing and ever since I first met you I have realized that. You are amazing and you are unique and there is no one in the world that I would rather be with than you…because I love you with all of my heart and all of my soul and I can not imagine life without you…because you are my reason for living."

Tears continued to flow freely from her eyes but they were no longer tears of sadness and heartache but of joy that she had not felt in a very long time. Then he bridged the gap between them, their lips tenderly brushing against each others. When they parted she was still crying, making her speech broken and disjointed.

"For so long…I have cared about you…you were unique…my best friend…but also something more…but I was too afraid…I did not want to risk…losing what we had as friends…because I value that above all else…I was so worried about you when you were undercover…I thought you had some terrible illness…then I found out about her…it tore me up inside…to think that I had lost you to someone else…but I was grateful…grateful that you were ok…grateful that you were happy…then when your car exploded…it nearly killed me Tony…to think that I might have lost you…I don't know what I would do without you…and I never want to find out…promise me you won't leave me…because I love you with all my heart…"

It was then that he finally removed the CD from his jacket pocket where it had been kept above his heart for the past month. "I have a surprise for you" he said "You know that I am lousy at expressing my feelings, not as bad as you though" she laughed and he smiled, he enjoyed it so much when he saw the light in her eyes, a light that he would never again take for granted. "So I thought maybe I should find some other way of expressing them. This is for you" he said as he produced the CD and placed it in her hands. "These are all the songs that when ever I hear them I can not help but think of you… and whenever you listen to them I hope you will think of me."

With that he gently removed the CD from Ziva's delicate grasp and placed it in the CD player on her bedside table. He waited a moment before pressing play.

"I want you to listen very carefully to the lyrics of this song because they are my promise to you, that I will keep until the day I die or as long as I love you, they mean the same thing to me."

With that he pressed play. She moved, to the best of her ability, over to one side of the bed to make room for him to join her. He accepted her silent offer and gently moved in next to her. As he got in he remained sitting upright and allowed her to cuddle into his shoulder. He placed his arms protectively around her tiny frame and held her close, protecting her from everything in the world. Gradually they both fell into a peaceful sleep, thoughts filled with the lyrics of the song that continued to play, and what they meant to each of them and the undying love they symbolized.

_Crash and Burn_

_When you feel all alone and a loyal friend is hard to find_

_Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart_

_I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you_

_It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold_

_When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore_

_Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall_

_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night_

_If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart_

_If you need to crash then crash and burn you're not alone_

_When you feel all alone and a loyal friend is hard to find_

_You're caught on a one way street with the monsters in your head_

_When hopes and dreams are far away and you feel like you can't face the day_

_Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall_

_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night_

_If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart_

_If you need to crash then crash and burn you're not alone_

'_Cause there has always been heartache and pain _

_And when it's over you'll breathe again, you'll breathe again_

_When you feel all alone and the world had turned it'd back on you_

_Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart_

_Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall_

_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night_

_If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart_

_If you need to crash then crash and burn you're not alone_

_**Fin**_


End file.
